A Medium on a Pagan Path Pt 3- My Journey Into Paganism.

How I came to be on this path is a very long story. It had begun almost 2 years ago already, but I didn’t officially become pagan until October of 2010. I started being fully aware of my gifts like starting of June/July 2010. I was starting to listen to my intuition, and I started knowing things that I could not have otherwise known. At work I would sometimes get this strange feeling to put ketchup packets in the bag. So I did. Next thing I knew, the person in the car that I handed the food to asked for Ketchup. Well I had already put it in the bag. Also I noticed that I was hearing whispers around me from time to time that I couldn’t explain. Sometimes I really had felt someone trying to talk to me a few times, but when Id ask for clarification or a repeating of words I would look around nobody was there, or if there were people around, they said they didn’t say anything.

So I thought that was weird. Then I started getting dreams that were strange as well. I had started dreaming what I call astral projection dreams where I would feel I was astral projecting and see things you don’t normally see. In these dreams sometimes spirits would directly come to me, sometimes not. Sometimes Id just be looking around my room or going to different places.  Sometimes I’d be at my boyfriends house in the dream. Another feeling I had gotten often was I had started feeling tingly cold sensations when ever there was a spirit touching me. During this time of awareness, I had also realized I had experiences as a child growing up with the spirit world.

What I had experienced is on another blog  post, but one experience I did want to share when it comes to dreams is one night I dreamed that a Ghost walked through my door to my room. I forgot all about the dream until weeks or months later when I had that de ja voo feeling and then I remembered the dream I had. I was sitting in the exact same spot as the dream and I was looking at the door as if I was seeing a physical apparition of a ghost but I was not seeing anything. The room got cold that night too, but I ignored it thinking it was just a coincidence or something.

Reflecting back onto those experiences, I had realized I was a medium. After that I started asking questions about my abilities to my church. I had been Christian and grew up Christian. I was confirmed in the Lutheran Church at 16 and knew the 10 commandments and the lords prayer. In college I strayed away from it a little bit but I didn’t know what to believe, and it still didn’t feel right to start searching for another path so in college I was basically stalemate state when it came to religion and spirituality. Then I started becoming aware of my gifts and that is what changed everything for me.
I had questions about mediums, and spiritual gifts that my church couldn’t answer. They said some gifts come from God some came from the Devil. Then when I had asked about my gifts, and told them what I was experiencing, my pastor told me those gifts are called necromancy, and that they are gifts from the Devil. He told me that I needed to go on a spiritual cleanse, and take away everything I liked, including music I liked, Games I liked to play such as Dungeons and dragons. He told me to stop using my gifts.  I was just livid. I felt judged and betrayed. However, I never believed a word he said because I knew in my heart I was not evil, and that what he was saying were lies. How can I believe myself to be evil when more often than not, I am more concerned for other people’s well being instead of my own? It’s the reason I studied Psychology in the first place. I started feeling uncomfortable going to church after that. I continued though to keep up appearances,  but I felt very disconnected from my spirituality, and from the church. That is when I started seeking a new spiritual path for myself.

I had came across witchcraft in High School, and a few of my friends were pagan. Since I was Christian back then I felt it wasn’t right for me. However, after my experiences with the church, I decided to do some more research on it. I contacted pagan friends I haven’t heard from in years and talked to them about it. They welcomed my questions, and they answered them in a much better way than my pastor did at the church. I researched everything I could get my hands on. For, awhile I even got into Gnostic Christianity for awhile because some Gnosticism’s called themselves Christian Witches or another term is Christo-pagans. I felt maybe it was possible to be a Christian Witch because I was heavily drawn to magic/witchcraft at this point. Which in essence is the case, but I had continued to study how spells were done, and I studied many different spiritual paths such as Wicca, Druidism, and Ancient Egyptian magic, etc. In October 2010 I felt that Paganism and Witchcraft was my new home, and converted. I did my first spell on Samhain/halloween night. The witches new year.  However, I realized I believe in a little bit of everything, and found I could not label myself or affiliate myself with a specific religion.

Also from what I experienced in the Christian church, it felt like Worshiping God meant to give up free will. Think about it. God gave free will only to demand you follow him and do everything he says? How is that Free will? We have the freedom to choose our own paths. I don’t believe that my life is predetermined when I am born. It is my choice of how I live my life or even future lives after this life has ended. If he gave it to me as a gift why is it being taken back once you “surrender yourself to God”? Doesn’t make any sense to me. I asked that question once and the pastor was dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to say. Another thing that does not make any sense what so ever is how ‘God’ is supposed to be all merciful and loving, and yet in the old testament he is wrathful and vengeful and seemed to get upset about every little thing. Then some Christians in the church are very judgmental, and condemn people when it is not their job. I literally got sick of the drama in church. It wasn’t worth the emotional strains to get involved with it. That is also a reason why I shied away from the church in High School and College. There was so many things my eyes were opening to once I had thought about it in depth. Especially the whole good vs evil war.

So that is how I came to be Pagan. As for being a medium and having a spiritual path. Well paganism had answered my questions. Paganism accepted me and loved me in the way my pastor and christian friends did not when I had tried telling them about my abilities to get answers. I didn’t know where else to go and I felt my trusted pastor would have given more insight into this. However, he did not. I felt happier that I could finally accept who I was, and who I was meant to be. I felt free like a bird when I realized there were others out there like me. It felt very empowering to do spells. It was basically like taking back my own personal power that I had felt I had lost long time ago. Since then I have taken charge of my life in a way I would have not otherwise. I’ve been able to work on healing myself, and empower myself as a woman and as a human being. It feels empowering when I connected to nature, and meditate within nature, and to connect to the Primal Source or other Gods and Goddess to ask for wisdom, and insight or to give thanks for the gifts they have given me. I know one of my spiritual gifts is I am blessed with unconditional love and acceptance of others. I have much compassion to show the world, and I hope to lead by example someday.

A Medium on a Pagan Path Pt 2 -My Beliefs and Morale

The beliefs about deities and a higher creator is vastly different amongst us pagans, and it usually depends on what religion we choose or what spiritual path we take. It is different for every one of us so my beliefs are different from many others. The most important thing I think is even on a pagan path, not everything is set in stone. Beliefs change as a person changes and I am only one pagan perspective to consider. To get an idea of all pagan faiths it takes a lot of hard work and studying. Being an Eclectic Solitary Witch also takes studying and being open to learning, because if you aren’t how are you going to know what path is meant for you? How else will you learn what is true for yourself?  For me, real spirituality comes from within yourself, and not from some instruction manual or a teacher who thinks this ritual has to be this way or this spell can only be done my way. I don’t buy into that mambo jumbo. I wouldn’t even go to “Wiccan Schools Online” because much of the information is free online already. You just need to dig for it.

I do what feels right and what my intuition tells me. Some of us who are Eclectic solitary Pagans are people who believe in a little bit of everything from all paths in order to figure out what the spiritual truth is for ourselves.  Also for some of us we are also still learning and growing, and trying to figure out what is right for us when it comes to our spirituality. One shoe doesn’t fit all so why wouldn’t it be the same about religious or spiritual beliefs? I believe some of us were meant to be on a Christian path, but also some of us are not meant to be on that path. I feel I am one of those who are not meant to be one a Christian path.

So what do I believe about deities or about a higher power? I believe there is a Primal Source of all creation but the Primal source is nameless, sexless, ageless etc, and the most highest being. It is neither mother nor father, but both at the same time. It is whatever it wants to be and takes whatever form it wishes.  However, I also believe that the Source also created many entities or what some pagans refer to deities in order to help the creator run the universe, and to help create more life. This is where I think polytheism comes into play with many different pantheons that are out there. I don’t believe one pantheon is better than the other. Ive personally been drawn to 3 different pantheons myself and so for I personally don’t choose. I acknowledge all 3 and acknowledge the god’s of all 3,  but do not fully worship any of them. Other pagans do have a set pantheon they go by, and they do rituals with their patrons (chosen god or goddess), but some do not. I feel it is all the same anyway, and

I don’t fully worship the God’s or even the Primal Source  in the Christian sense of the word, but I do give them thanks when it is due, and sometimes pray to them. I also pray to who I call the primal source. I don’t believe in fully worshiping deities, even the primal source. You can give thanks and not worship or you can worship all the time and never give any thanks. Most of the time the concepts go hand in hand, but one day I tried putting myself in the goddess shoes, (well as much as I could anyway) I know I personally wouldn’t want all that singing and dancing and unnecessary rituals just to give me thanks. A simple thank you, and giving a gift back of some sort would all that I would require. The gift of  giving back to man kind would also be ideal or something I would wish to happen instead, if I were a deity, and that is how I view how I should treat deities and the Primal source. I am very Humanistic in my approach to my spiritual beliefs, after all we were created in their image.

I also believe in reincarnation. I believe that I have lived before many times. I don’t know exactly how many, and personally don’t really want to either. From what I do know of my past lives, the ones I have done past life regressions on, were very traumatic experiences. I was burned at the stake, and brutally raped and murdered. I used to get dreams when I was a little kid of someone brutally raping me murdering me even before I even fully knew or understood what those concepts fully meant. They were the essence of my Night Terrors. So when I found out those bad things had happened to me, the dreams I used to get when I was little clicked in my head.  After that I didn’t want to know much more about that. Maybe I’m just not ready to yet.

Another strong belief that I have is about good and evil. For me personally, I believe there shouldn’t be a war between the two because I believe you can’t have one without the other. Without Evil how do you know what is good? And without good how do you know what evil is? My Favorite quote is in the movie A Walk to Remember with Mandy Moore in it. “Without suffering, how can there be no compassion?” There was never supposed to be a war. One of the things I disagree heavily with Christianity is we must always fight our dark side.  On that note, just because something is dark does not mean it is evil. We all have a dark side and a light side. I believe we must balance the two within ourselves. Not only that, but it is not all black and white. There is Grey areas too.

For example if a poor homeless little old lady came into the store and stole a loaf of bread  and you caught her, what would you do? Most often than not people would throw her in jail or call the cops if they had caught her. People believe it is Evil to steal. But from the Old Lady’s perspective you could be the Evil one, because those who would throw her in jail are probably better off than her, and greedy.  You are being greedy by not having enough compassion for her situation, and not having compassion is a dark trait. It is all a matter of perspective. Me personally, if I were in that situation, I would let her go, and pay for the bread myself, but not everyone is like me.

Also fighting your dark side is not accepting all of who you are. Once you accept who you fully are you can work with both light and dark sides in order to become a better person. Ask yourself what is darkness? What is Evil? What is Light? What is Good? Everyone has their own definition of what Evil and Good is. Christians think Paganism is evil, and about worshiping the devil. Um Excuse me?  How can we be worshiping the devil if Some of us on pagan paths don’t believe in the Devil or Hell. Mostly all Traditional Wiccans and Druids don’t even believe in the devil so how can they be Devil worshiping?  Most paths that do Witchcraft, honor nature, and spiritual rituals are centered around celebrating the seasons of life, and the very existence of life itself.  How is properly taking care of our planet evil?

Then there are some of us pagans that feel that the Church is Evil and corrupted because they are always asking for money, (Greed) ramming scriptures down our throats,(trying to mess with free will)  and in history have killed thousands of innocent people (thou shall not kill/Crusades/witch trials), or hear of horror stories on the news of pastors and popes raping little boys. Most people who are Christians, are good people because their intentions are good, but there’s so much corruption and greed in today’s world, and it has to be stopped. Personally I believe the Church created it’s own hell when they slaughtered thousands in the name of God in the Crusades and Witch Trials. That much pain and suffering doesn’t just go away, that kind of negativity manifests itself.

However, does that mean there is no such thing is Demons? Well from my research, the Word Demon derives from the word Daemon which is Latin for Spirit. Spirits come in all forms, shapes, and sizes. That doesn’t mean that all spirits are evil. There are harmful spirits, and evil spirits, but not every spirit is evil. There are good spirits that are full of light and love too. So for those who say that all spirits are demons, in a way it is true with the word’s original Latin meaning, however, that doesn’t mean all Daemons (spirits) are evil and demonic.

As far as Pagan morale goes, well as I keep saying, Paganism is different for everyone, and morals are in the same boat. Not every pagan has the same morals. However, some of the common Morale is universal in many religions. Those are harm no one, to not mess with free will, treat others with respect as in treat others the way you would want to be treated, Love others etc. What I personally have as Morals is something I was taught in secondary culture class. Some of my family members are registered Native Americans, and because of that I got to skip out of my regular classes sometimes to go learn about Ojibwe Culture. I follow or try to follow the 7 teachings of the Anishinaabe peoples.  Humans are not perfect, and I say this fact because I know I am not perfect.  I do make mistakes from time to time. I am not afraid to freely admit my mistakes, and more often than not I try to do the right thing.

The Seven Teachings of the Anishinaabe
(The People– the Ojibwe, the Odowa and the Potawatome)

Honesty
To achieve honesty within yourself,
To recognize who and what you are ,
Do this and you can be honest with all others

Humility
Humble yourself and recognize that
No matter how much you think you know,
You know very little of all the universe.

Truth
To learn truth,
To live with truth, and
To walk with truth,
To speak truth

Wisdom
To have wisdom is to know the difference between good and bad, and
To know the result of your actions

Love
Unconditional love to know that when people are weak
They need your love the most,
That your love is given freely, and
You cannot put conditions on it
Or your love is not true

Respect
Respect others, their beliefs, and
Respect yourself.
If you cannot show respect,
You cannot expect respect to be given

Bravery
To be brave is to do something right
Even if you know it’s going to hurt you.

To read the full blog you can go to this link here down below.

http://neveahjasmine.blogspot.com/2011/09/anisinabe-wisdom-knowledge-power-and.html

Anyway those are some of my basic Beliefs and Morals. The next blog post will be how I came to be pagan, and how I became aware of my medium-ship abilities. I basically entered the developmental stage of things this past year. I’m constantly researching and trying to look for information on Mediums, but what is out there so far doesn’t  feel right to me.

Also note; Even though I consider myself pagan, I still can’t help but to explain with a christian point of view. It is what one philosopher once said “I am not religious but I cannot help but think in a religious point of view.’ I don’t remember who said that though. It was a quote I remembered from my Philosophy of Religion class in college.

A Medium on a Pagan Path Pt 1- Definitions and Basics.

I had been asked by Lorraine Holloway White to do a Blog article on being a natural born medium on a pagan path. It’s goal is to help others who are on a similar path that I am on and to get a small testimony of why I had chosen this spiritual path instead of the many others that are out there. However, there is much to say about my path and paganism in general. So I have divided the article into three parts.

However, I first must give a definition of what a pagan path is. My definition of paganism is an umbrella term for anyone not on an Abraham path. This includes Judaism, Christianity, and Muslim, because even though they are different paths, they are all stemming from Abraham and believe in the same God.  So basically I consider Buddhism a pagan path a-long with Taoism, Witchcraft, Druidism and many others.

My personal Pagan path can be labeled as a Solitary Eclectic Witch. Solitary means I do not practice in a coven but rather practice in my own home. Eclectic means I don’t necessarily have a religious path and follow a little bit of everything, and Witch means that I practice Magic or what others like to call witchcraft. I personally do not like to call what I do Witchcraft because it has a multitude of misconceptions and negative stigma’s associated with practicing magic. I believe that many people do use magic in many different ways without fully knowing what it is.

In order to best explain this, the definition of Magic to me is being able to Manipulate, transfer, and use astral energies to improve their own life or to help others. Astral Energies are basically energies that are on the other side of the veil that is separating the physical world to the spirit world. For me I believe that every living thing has an astral energy form. The Aura or the magnetic field around your physical body I feel is part of those astral Energies. I also believe we all have an Astral body or “Soul” that inhabits our Physical body. And when I say all living things I mean All living things, from rocks and stones to herbs and animals.

Pagan Witches are able to use these different energies and attune to the energies of the earth, and work with those energies. They sometimes call upon the elements of earth, fire, water, air, and spirit (with given permission from the elements and from the god or goddess) to help them in their spells and other spiritual work. It is our way of praying and connecting to the higher creator or to our Patron Deity. However the only difference is some Pagans witches believe in both a lord God and Lady Goddess. Believing in two different Gods for creation is basically acknowledging the masculine and feminine aspects of the creator ‘God’ or acknowledging the masculine and feminine aspects of this world. It is like the yin yang symbol that is popular amongst things. However, Not all pagans view it like this. This is my point of view of how I interpret the Lord and Lady, and cannot speak for every pagan in the world.

Also just like anyone has psychic abilities, anyone can be a witch. Some people claim you have to be a Natural Born Witch, or people think if your family is made up of a bunch of witches that it is genetic. This is very untrue just like how people say everyone can be a medium. Not everyone can be mediums, but anyone can be witches.  We all have the power or potential to use these energies, and many of us do without knowing it.

An exorcize to try to see if you can sense these energies or use these energies   is to face your palm open, and concentrate on your own energies. Imagine white light going from your center (your core, or heart) to your hand. Imagine this white light in yourself as a ball of light energy. Some people like to use other colors. If you need to use colors, you may do so, but it is not needed for everyone.  Anyway this ball of light in your hand should make your fingers and palm tingle. Put your finger in the middle of this ball you are concentrating on. If your finger feels tingly, you are doing it right. Sometimes people will also feel a cold sensation, or a warm sensation in their hands. This is the magical energy that we use. Stones, herbs, animals, and almost anything on this earth has some type of this energy within it.

How does one do magic without knowing it? In psychology some therapists do this thing where they tell you to write down every bad thing you felt or said about yourself or things people have said to you, and then throw it in the fire or rip up the piece of paper and throw them way. It was to boost up confidence, and for emotional healing. That is basically a spell. When you write down all those bad names that you hear or call yourself your getting out your emotions and emotions have a type of energy as well. When you are writing down your feelings, you are releasing that energy onto the paper with words. Words have power, so when you throw it in the fire, the fire burns that energy, and it is gone. Normally you should feel better after basically destroying all that harmful energy that is inside you.

How spells are created or done is up to the caster. They need a goal or an intent for the spell. For example are you wanting to get a new job or be prosperous? Are you wanting to have more courage or maybe just some simple healing of the heart? Once you have your goal in mind you can then put together the material components that are necessary to your spell. These components could include but not limited to candles, herbs, stones, or incenses. Different candle colors have different meanings as does the different stones and incense correspondents. Most people use material components because you can draw the energy from the objects and then it will build around you. You can channel that energy and put it into your spell. Then you can also recite a prayer or a poem or an incantation if you wish on the intent, what you want etc.

It is fairly simple. However, I do like to add that all these material components aren’t necessary. Some witches do spells in their minds through visualization. Some beginner witches are first taught to do spells through visualization because they don’t have the money to build an alter yet. Alters and material components are just tools to raise the energy that needs to be channeled, and sent out to the universe. The more energy you put in, the more powerful the spell. However not all spells need to be powerful. Many of them can just be as simple as writing your intent on a piece of paper and what you want and burning it over a white candle. Prayer is basically a spell. You are asking the Universe/God/Goddess for something and prayer has power because words have power. Your are sending out that energy through words. Most of my spells are done with visualization, but from time to time when I feel the need for my alter or the need to use material components I will do so.

Anyway if you would like more information on witchcraft I suggest researching it because this blog article is about my beliefs and my journey of how I became pagan. The reason why I decided to put more details in it about magic is to give an idea on how it works and what it really is, and to clear up misconceptions about it, so anyone reading this 3 part series understands what it is. I know that not everyone is going to understand, but I hope many people do. I will go in depth about my beliefs and morality in the next blog post.